Children and Parent’s Expectation By Ruchika Singh

 Children and Parent’s Expectation

Setting high expectations for kids isn't necessarily a bad thing. But how lofty these goals are has to depend on how your child is responding to them. "Parents want kids to succeed and do well but when they get overly involved and pressurise kids, they lose sight of the negative impact it has on a child. That negative impact can be anything from kids having nightmares, developing an OCD, pulling out their own hair, turning to drugs, seeking out underachieving friends or putting added pressure on them to please. Two of the major problem that is often faced by children and parents both and a solution to them are given below:-

When you always give negative feedback: Sometimes parents do it without thinking, but constantly pointing out what your kid did wrong, instead of where he made an effort, is a high-pressure tactic. Imagine how your daughter feels when she comes home proud to have got a B on a killer chemistry exam and all you can say is: Why didn't you get an A? It's not exactly a mood-lifter. The message your kid hears is that you want her to be perfect. Even if that's not what you verbalize, that's the unhealthy message you're sending.

The fix: Praise them!  Motivating your child will become easier when you are not inflicting your will on them. True, every parent would love to see a report card full of A’s. But it's just not realistic. When your son brings home a B or even a C (dread!), ask him if he is proud of his score and if he would enjoy getting an A next time. Whether he is happy with his grade or beating himself up, the key is to be proud, validate what he is feeling and discuss his studying style. Offer to help him improve his studying methods or organizing his notes.

When you're getting upset. Do you feel anxious, mad or depressed when your child fails to meet your expectations in school or a sport? To put all of your energy into ensuring your child succeeds leaves no time to take care of your own emotional needs. Frankly, it's unbalanced.

The fix: Reclaim your favourite past times and passions. You'll always give your all to your family but you deserve as much attention. Part of being a good parent is being a good role model and showing your child that you partake in things you love doing.  You can also show them how you work hard to achieve and how good it makes you feel about yourself.

“Every child is special”. Every one of us have some or the other talent in some or the other fields. Only the need is to give it a chance as per the demand of the hour.